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xXluv_skateboarding_guyzXx
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Name: kim
Country: United States
State: Wisconsin
Metro: Milwaukee
Birthday: 1/22/1993
Gender: Female
Interests: ALL KINDS OF FOOD, VOLLEYBALL, MY BOIIFRIEND!!, FAMILY AN FRIENDS
Expertise: im not sure yet
Occupation: Other
Industry: Legal
Message: message me
Yahoo:  kimberly_h03
Member Since:
8/26/2005
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| ok. well da last time i wrote was in may...an now its september. it aint dat long but lots had happened durin da days of da months. yea i went 2 guatemala and its an experience ill never 4get. my mother got married. sum ppl r mad..an im 31 weeks pregnant which is like 7 months an a week...about.i just got out da hospital after stayin 4 two weeks an they found out dat i have da typhoid fever. an i was half dead wen i went 2 da hospital. i had da worst. but da bby was completly fine but i wasnt which is kinda weird how dat works out.its contagious and maybe my whole fam. has it. =[ but i just went thru everything 2 figure out wut it was in da first place. an now im swollen frm down there and i cant sit or walk straight. which is a pain in da ass considerin da fact dat im allready pregnant. now i cant do more. i only went 2 skool 4 three days and i havent gone 4 a whole day since. i wont be able 2 go back until da swellin has gone down. an it seems 2 be goin down but it still hurts...im still wit shac..unfortunatly. an im compltly over josh. ik it thanks 2 dis 1 movie dat i watched wen i was in guate. but yea there is lots of drama goin on in my family rite now an its just botherin da FUCK out of me b/c of sum things dat had happend n ppl r just takin it da wrong way..n it bothers me alot. rite now sum guys r fixin my windows an they ok i guess. | | |
| shacs comin over 2morro. =/ ugh. if josh wants 2 do sumthing i think i wud ditch shac. but we all kno he aint gunna even attempt 2 call me. once i do sumthin wit him, i dont talk 2 him 4 almost a week. but dat happens b/c of him. he gets wut he wants and just leaves me alone wit my heart all torn apart. my heart is trapped. i cant leave, and i dont wanna stay. and if i do leave, ik i cant go back wit josh. it hurts 2 kno dat u can never be wit da person u fell in love wit. especially if its sumthin stupid like ur age.i dont wanna be wit shac anymore. i dont wanna have his kid anymore, i dont wanna kiss or do it wit him anymore. dam.idk wut i was thinkin.i told josh dat shac was small. lol.(not dat its true or anything ;]) idk y. an i told him dat i dont even like doin it wit shac. an its true but idk y it just came out. ugh. hes so cute 2 me. hes so interestin, so remarkable 2 me an such a wonderful person. hes sensitive. but idk a guy who isnt. hes funny, he does da cutest things, he writes wit his left. dam. i appreciate him so dam much. i might not got him as a friend, or not even a boyfriend, but dam im happy dat i kno a guy like him. an its funny and crazy how i can say all these nice things 2 a guy who broked my heart. how many times i cried or wen i felt used. i cant c myself wit shac in da future. or not even being 2gether 4 a long time. but i could c myself wit josh 4 a long time. but i cant c myself wit josh in da future either. i wish i could. =[ and i wish he could c @ least sumthin wit me 2..but i dont think datll ever happen. which is y ik me and josh could ever be 2gether again. | | |
| ugh. its 5 in da morning. im tired of sleepin and thinkin. im bored. i just sent a txt message 2 sum ppl i knew from frankies fone. dat bastard. everyones sleeping. an i fucken miss my fone. 14 more days. =D.14 more days till skool is over. its just dis week and den exams. YAY! 14 more days till i go 2 da docter. =]. finally. stupid swine flu. dam dat shit gets me mad. ppl over exaggerate over stupid shit. dam i dont have SHIT 2 do. maybe shac is comin over. i really dont care if he does or not. i kinda hope he does tho..=/ 28 more days till i leave 2 guatemala 4 da whole summer. =[ even wen i get my fone back i'll only use it 4 like a week. aw. dat sucks. but everythin happens 4 a reason.i hate josh.he makes me feel..sumthing . idk but i still like him. and he just keeps comin back. so maybe he still likes me 2 or he just have nothin 2 do. i just wanna be mad @ him again. i was b4 but ugh i just dont care. i wud still let him lay next 2 me.stupid spell. awww. shac made me a video. =]]] it was so sweet. and he thinks dat i dont like it. an he still thinks dat way. stupid. idk. maybe he does love me...and maybe he is in love wit me 2. but im not in love wit him.but i still love him.dats y my mom sees us dat way. like we dont love each other. but she dont c shac da way dat i do.i wish everyone could c shac da way dat i do...hes a good guy. just sometimes he has problems.if i ever c andre...im punchin him in da face. ill fight him and idc if he fights back. i hope he does 2 tell u da truth. i only slept 4 like..bout 4 or 5 hrs. ha. well im sad. sad b/c im still in love wit josh. i just want him 2 stay away from me. 2 stop comin 2 my crib just so he can "talk" 2 me...yea rite. ik his stupid game.but yet i still let him play and i just cant call it quits. i dont want 2 deep down. ik i have 2 but i just cant. its all b/c dat stupid spell... i hate him. =[[[[ | | |
| im trapped. im in da middle of my feelings. 2 be loved and 2 love.josh makes me so happy. but he cant.after i read those notes wit ryan an frankie, i was like dam. i didnt realize how miserable and happy i could be wit sumone i love. idk bout him but 2 me dat felt like dat was our 1st time...lol. dat kinda sounds stupid, but i just feel fresh, n new.i feel SO happy wit him. ugh. an wit shac..man i we was SO close 2 breakin up. he came over n cried 2 me beggin not 2 leave him.n he agreed 2 take a real break. he offered 2 weeks.i'll take it. ugh but it makes me so sad.cuz i kno it aint gunna work out. i know my feelngs arent gunna return 2 him. im not gunna be in love wit him, vuz im in love wit another guy. an i cant tell him dat, i just cant cuz da person dat IM in love wit is my ex, who he hates wit all his heart. dat'll hurt him n we all kno it. dam its so hard. dis situation dat im in..man all i gotta do is just wait. wait and c wut'll happen durin our break. and dis time, idk...maybe dis is it. | | |
| i cant fucken sleep.ugh.im so mad and fucken sad.i wanna talk 2 him so bad rite now.i need 2 get it out of my head.i keep thinkin bout josh and brandon. but mostly josh..i hate dat guy so much an bad rite now. i hate da fact dat HE makes me so happy.y does it have 2 be him?? he dnt care.he doesnt understand.im like da lil side chick 4 him. uughhhh!! dat makes me so angry.he gets wut he wants from me, makin me not care bout shac.makin me feel like im not in love him shac. well im not. and josh proved it 2 me.an he dont even kno it.josh has like dis control over me. an its only cuz i still love him, and wen u love someone, u dont care bout da rest or think bout da rest an u feel like its only u an him.dats how i feel wen im wit josh. happy.im so happy wen im wit him, an yet im wit someone else who makes me happy, sometimes. but nothin like josh.i adore josh so dam much. wit da lil things he does. i'll never hurt dat guy.he makes me angry.upset.confused.sad.happy.all @ da same time.angry b/c he takes advantage of me. upset cuz i feel so used. confused b/c idk if he wants 2 be wit me or not. i cant tell wit all da things he does. sad b/c i feel so lost and lonely witout him. and happy b/c idk.josh is so interestin 2 me. he teaches me new things.i love dat so much. i get all ready and i gotta look nice wen it comes 2 josh. but wen it comes 2 shac, i could care less.shac makes me happy and sad. happy b/c i know he loves me. and dats wut i wanted.someone who loves me 4 who i am, an doesnt use me 4 shit. but sad b/c i dont love him like he does 4 me...OMFG ALL I CAN THNK BOUT IS FUCKEN JOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and its gettin me fucken sad.im tired of cryin over dat guy.its all goin in a cycle again.. | | |
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